Last night I watched, finally, the final episode of Netflix' House of Cards, a series I hated after the first few episodes (Kevin Spacey doing a southern accent is not great acting) but then warmed up to. When it ended, I flipped through the channels, past reruns of NCIS, Law & Order, Castle -- all the ubiquitous courtroom/investigative shows that seem to be all that's on TV -- and fell upon the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Live. On ESPN. 

I watched the last few rounds of the Bee. The kids always amaze me. I can't even pronounce half the words they can pronounce, spell and know the roots of! Truth is, I couldn't even spell the kids' names because the finalists were all, as they mostly have been the past 15 or so years, Indian-Americans. The last girl to flame out, Amber Born, not only was a great speller, but a riot with her one-liners. She's an aspiring comedy writer. Missed her in the final round. She lost on the word "hallali," a huntsman's bugle call.  Second place went to 13-year-old Prinva Sivakumar who tripped up on the word "cyanophycean," a blue-green alga (alga I could spell!).
 
The young man who won, Arvind Manhankali, 13, of Bayside Hills, N.Y., finished third each of the last two years. Each time, he was knocked out by German-derived words. So, the Spelling Bee gods, just to make this win ironic, made sure he got a German-derived word as the one he had to get right to win -- knadiel. Interestingly, this was a word I knew. I don't mean I knew how to spell it (although I missed it by just that much), but I was familiar with the word because my parents and grandparents spoke some Yiddish and this was, in my experience, a Yiddish word. I knew knadiel more as that doughy thing that was floating in the soup my mom made. If asked to spell it, I likely would have missed that "I."
 
The audiences at these bees are so knowledgeable about the history of each contestant that when the judge announced Arvind's final challenge -- knadiel -- they groaned and chuckled, KNOWING that he was tripped up his last two years by
German-derived words. (Ask me the Yankees' lineup in 1957 and I think I can still tick it off; ask me what I had for lunch yesterday, and I need to think about it.)
 
Anyway, if the Bee is rerun, I highly recommend you watch it. You'll see some terrific kids who worked their tails off to get to the nationals (Amber said she got there by hard work, not seeing her friends -- she apologized to them on air -- and by not seeing TV in months. OK, not such a bad thing).
 
Then again, if I hadn't been surfing the TV, I would not have found the Bee. As I do every year almost every year. When I fall upon it, I truly enjoy it.

               
When I turned 16, I could not wait to get my license so I could drive my mom’s '65 white convertible Chevy Nova with the brown leather upholstery. I’m sure I looked as cool as I thought I did but then again maybe not because I quickly learned that good-looking cars don’t automatically get the girls. I thought that was the key.
                
Today, I hate driving. Well, I don’t hate the act of driving a car, I hate that there are other cars on the road with drivers who seem to not follow  the laws or etiquette of driving – like stopping at stop signs. Also, used to be, on a highway, you passed on the left and the right was left for “slower vehicular
traffic.” Not anymore. More cars pass me on the right than on the left. Which means, I  have to keep  both eyes on the road and my other eye on the passenger-side mirror looking for would-be Jeff Gordons speeding up to get past me. 

Then there are the drivers who pass me on the left, and cut sharply in front of me so they can take that exit that we just almost passed.
                
I live in a neighborhood of streets that have a stop sign on every corner. You’d think that would be safe. On my drive to work this morning, two cars ran stop signs where I had the right of way. One slowed only enough to make the turn, he never even faked a stop at the sign.  I remember when policepersons used to stop and ticket folks like that. Can’t remember the last time I saw that happen. And, I don’t see many troopers patrolling the highways anymore either (budget cuts, I’m sure). 
                
Being a pedestrian isn’t any safer. On those same streets in my neighborhood, I have to watch out for cars when I’m IN the crosswalk. And, when I reach a more major intersection with traffic lights, when the light switches to red, I count to five before I cross because inevitably there is a car (or cars) that will run the red light (presumably to be sure he gets quickly to the  next red light before anyone else because, idiots, THE LIGHTS CHANGE AT THE SAME TIME. You ain’t gaining time at all, if that’s your  goal.)
                
There are routes I drive that, when I get to my destination, I kiss the ground I’m so thankful I got there safely – I just make sure I wait till I’m inside to do it so no one runs me over.

Yesterday’s post on aging got a lot of reaction from friends, mostly of my vintage. Clearly, the readership here skews old-er. That’s fine, though it would be nice to have some younger folks so we can hear their reactions to some issues, get their views and learn from each other.

Our age quadrant is not out to stymie any behind us – in fact, most folks I talk to really want to pass whatever wisdom they have “down” so it can be learned or at least considered because everyone has to make his/her own decisions in life. We just need as much information as possible to do that. And, when you’re old-er, you have gathered more life experience than those younger. Do the math.

From a career point of view, I think most of us (well, I’ll speak for myself) want to adjust our role in our work lives and want and need younger folks to take over.  Trust me, there is no, “I don’t want anyone looking better than I am so don’t try to jump ahead of me” feeling here. Quite the opposite in fact. I get frustrated when we don’t bring folks along instead of, as in some work environments, tossing them in the pool with no water wings at all. We all needed – and still need -- help to get through each day, professionally and personally.

So,  since I think I hit a nerve yesterday (feel free to tell me I'm mis-reading that),  I’m hoping to write more about aging from a layman’s point of view (and I hope to have many, many years to do that!). Kind of that talk-out-loud- as-issues–arise thing to get other peoples’ reactions. As you, I’ve learned over my lifetime that others are always going through, or have gone through, the same experiences as I have. And it often helps (in fact, can’t think of a time it doesn’t) to talk about it.

In a blatant attempt to get more page views – but also to try to generate some inter-generational discussion – if the feeling moves you, ask some younger folks to read some of these posts and see if we can interest them in joining a conversation. No one loses in that endeavor.

What will those issues be? Maybe the anxiety of leaving one city and moving to another in retirement and all the changes that brings about (selling property, choosing what to keep and what to toss, changing your contact info on EVERYTHING, switching where you vote, worrying about money. Changing ALL your doctors and hoping you find ones as competent as you have now. Finding a barber nearly as good -- both at cutting hair and serving as a psychologist as the one you have.)Maybe health issues or just the adjustment in accepting you are RETIRING (Lord!) and how it affects us. Maybe, what do I do in retirement? I mean, when I retire, I plan to be young enough that I still will want to do things beyond (try to) lower my handicap, read more books, gaze at my navel (who wants to spend a lot of time staring at an old-er man's belly?) and figure out ways to avoid mowing the lawn. Maybe learn to cook. Or enjoy working in the yard (which I don’t now). Volunteer work, but volunteer for what? What will those things be? We can all use ideas.

I still will post about politics and current events (sometimes the sarcasm just has to have a release) and precise language (the frustration has to come out) and grandchildren (now and again) so be prepared. But, let’s talk about getting old-er and what that means in this day and age.

Let’s talk about getting old(er). Each one of us is doing that, maybe the only thing we all do have in common. And, if we don’t have that in common, my condolences to your family.

Indeed, it is something that creeps up on you, even though the aging process is moving along at the same pace from the moment you’re born. Still, it does seem that the older you get, the faster time goes, doesn’t it?

Look in the mirror. Recognize who’s looking back at you? If you’re like me, you do. I’m about to turn 63 years old (pause, how did THAT happen?), but when I look in the mirror, I see a guy who's about 35 and doesn't have grey hair on his head. Now move your cursor up, click on “Home” and tell me, do YOU see grey hair on my head? Of course you do. But I don’t … really.

Take your work life; do the new, junior hires look like your children? (Or, in my case, my grandchildren, because the entry-level folks are closer to my grandchildren’s age than my kids’ ages). When you look at those entry-level co-workers, do you imagine they see you as 63, or as if you’re not that much older than them? Of course, you see yourself as in their age quadrant. Trust me, they don’t return that favor. They see you -- as the older, seemingly (maybe) wiser person who looks more like their parents, not someone they're going out for a drink with after work.
 
Then, you start thinking about a new chapter in your life – retirement and what that looks like in an era when people are living much longer than our parents anticipated in their lives. My dad saved during his life, raised three kids, educated them, lived a decent middle-class life and retired at 65. He was an  accountant by training so, of course, good with logic and numbers and could amortize things. He figured he’d live 10 years past retirement and planned his saving that way. He, thankfully, lived to be 92, a good long life, but 15 years longer than he planned his money to last (he did fine with the money, of course, because he was such a logical planner).

Now it’s my turn, and my age-peers’ turn. We are facing that decision. Do we retire? When? When we retire, what will we do?  As one of my younger colleagues likes to put it,  I assume for political correctness,  “what’s your time line?” That’s a nice way of saying, when are you taking your big salary off our books, retiring and getting out of our way?

Maybe those younger colleagues look at me that way, and that’s unfortunate. Because, in a blink, they’ll be me. Time moves that quickly.

I’m  not going to make fun of Anthony Weiner, the ex-congressman who sent pictures of his crotch over Twitter to at least one woman who wasn’t his wife and who, today, announced formally he’s running for mayor of New York City. Why not make fun? Well, too easy, for one. But, more important, who among us hasn’t made a stupid mistake? And shouldn’t we be allowed to repent and continue on with our lives? Screw up and repent, live goes on.

 So today is a day to talk about mistakes. Let’s start with the Obama White House.  It’s been a week-plus of nothing but mistakes and each day we read about another mistake they made in explaining what mistakes they actually made. Which, in Crisis Management 101, is a mistake itself.

Howard Baker’s Watergate-era question – “what did the president know and when did he know it” – seems to be what they’re tripping up on. But then again, no. This White House is apparently making the claim that since the IRS scandal (where it targeted right wing groups) was only an Inspector General’s report in draft, it was inappropriate to tell the president because, I guess, he might have been inclined to engage and try to do something about how the report was written (I doubt it, but if his staff is stupid enough to think that, maybe he needs a new staff). As Amy Poeller and Seth Green put it so well on Saturday Night Live, “really?”

 So, let me get this straight. Iran is planning an attack on Israel, but hasn’t made, to our knowledge a final decision to attack, so we don’t tell the president about the potential?? I know, that’s a silly comparison. But, really? 

Is the president not knowing about the IRS’ inappropriate, wrongheaded, unfair and plain stupid targeting of any political group a big deal? In the grand scheme of life, no it isn’t. But it ain’t chopped liver either. Comparisons to Watergate over this one incident aren't fair, but the "scandals" in this White House are piling up and a conspriacy theroist could claim the common thread among them (IRS, targeting journalists, a Cabinet secretary allegedlly strong-arming for donations companies she regulates) is they are going after their "enemies."
 
And, in my view, if a bunch of the president’s senior staff could be informed, so should he have been. What, do they  whisper like eight-year-olds in the halls of the West Wing, “Nah-nah, I know something the president doesn’t know?”

Is it worth spending the next six months investigating, poring over, tearing apart and listening to talking heads on cable television rant about? No, spare me, please, no. But, it is worth thinking about because, if it were me, I would have
told the president. And, ok, let’s say not telling the president was, indeed, the right thing to do. As staff, shouldn’t they at least have been preparing their explanation to the public while they had the time and tried to spare the president some of the embarrassment rather than changing their story  daily? I mean, really?

Gov. Malloy: 60 transported to hospitals
after Conn. train crash, 5  critical, 1 very critical

That's a headline in todays Washington Post. Can't blame the headline writer too much because the lead of the story states that, indeed, some were "critically" injured and others were "very critically" injured. Then again, what are editors/headline writers for, if not to make sure stories are accurate and language is precise? 

There's not a heckuva lot more to say, really. No one was fatally injured, I'm happy to say. There was very critically serious injury, though, to the English language.

 In politics, it seems whenever anyone accuses someone of something the response is, in effect, "so's your old man."

 For example, if I criticize President Obama over the IRS' recent harassment of Tea Party groups, the instant response is, Yeah, Nixon did the same thing! If I say the Justice Department overstepped its authority in grabbing up AP reporters' phone records, they say, Nixon tapped the DNC!
 
All true, folks. But can't we have a discussion about one thing at a time? Isn't this what Members of Congress do? Not listen to each other but come up with a worse offense by the other side? Try to win the argument rather than fix the problem?
 
Classic inability to communicate. Not unlike couples who sometimes do the same thing and don't listen to each other, but have to out-do the other. Doesn't do a lot to nurture the relationship, in most cases.
 
It doesn't work as a means toward resolving disagreements, either. I haven't heard anyone disagree, for example, that the IRS was wrong in going after the right-wing groups. I also didn't hear anyone say it was done at Obama's instruction (not the same as Nixon now, is it?). I haven't heard anyone say what the Justice Department did in going after the AP phone calls, without following proper protocols, was right. And, again, I haven't heard anyone say Obama ordered that, either. 
 
When you hear a criticism of something or someone you support, instead of coming back with an attack or criticism of your own, why not try discussing that criticism? Hell, you might even agree find out you agree! None of us is perfect. We make mistakes. Or bad judgments. And how do we learn, or convince the other side, without a discussion? 
 
Just a thought. You can disagree.


 

Jay Carney, White House press secretary, as  noted yesterday, is having, the worst of times.

Having sat in the White House press office when the pressure hits,  I have a good sense of what's going on (even though the addition of 24/7 cable, the dimunition of the old get-it-right-first journalism and the pressure of the Internet didn't exist back then and certainly has dramatically changed the dynamics ). Still, there are principles for handling crisis that always come into play. For  example, don't speak before you know the truth. Not always easy, I know.

Putting it out there, I'm not a huge fan of Carney at the podium, never have been. He doesn't have the gravitas of a Marlin Fitzwater or a Mike McCurry. To me, he doesn't portray strength at the podium.

So today's story in Politico -- http://www.politico.com/story/2013/05/obama-scandals-91389.html -- will tell you what he's been going through in the last several days.

Then, see the video linked below. Jay may  have gotten it right back in 2006. He probably never spoke truer words.
http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2013/05/jay-carney-former-reporter-163950.html

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney has had the best of times, but now he's having the worst of times. With Benghazi talking points, IRS targeting right-wing groups and the Justice Department targeting AP reporters, ol' Jay is getting LOTS of questions these days.

Politico put together what seems to be his standard answer to a question he doesn't want to answer: "I appreciate the question."
The link is below. I can tell you he uses variations of "I appreciate the question" 131 times in this video. If you think there is a surprise ending, there isn't. I hope you appreciate the heads up on that. Here's the link:
http://www.politico.com/politico44/2013/05/watch-jay-carney-appreciate-questions-163936.html?hp=r6. Hard times for a White House, especially one that depends more on its own web site and social media for getting the word out on what they're doing. They don't like going through the media so, when times are tough, like now, they are inexperienced at how to really do it. Note the special off-the-record briefing they did for selected media -- in the middle of a crisis situatin -- which, shockingly, ticked off those in the press who were not invited.

Those are four of the most-read stories of the day, I’m sure. The first three point to
a government run a little amok, or at least run a little arrogant. The last is a story about courage.

The Benghazi investigations will go on and may never reach an agreed-upon conclusion.  Did they rush to a judgment or intentionally mislead us? Did the IRS, target tea party groups with malice aforethought or with any wink or nod from the White House (I doubt it)? And, did the Justice Department overstep its authority by seizing telephone records from the Associated Press? Put this in another time (let’s say, during the Nixon Administration), and you’d have paranoia among the populace (and with good reason). 

Those first three stories likely will command headlines for a while. So, let’s focus
on the one that won’t, but should. Angelina Jolie showed tremendous courage not only in deciding to have a double mastectomy to lower her risk of cancer, but in choosing to announce it via an op-ed in the world’s most famous newspaper. This woman, who makes a living partly off her looks, chose to have a double mastectomy and broadcast that fact to the world. Did I say courage?
Brad Pitt deserves a shout out also for apparently being so supportive of his partner through a most difficult decision and emotional time.
 
As actor David Krumholtz tweeted after hearing about Ms. Jolie’s announcement, "Now,  Angelina Jolie truly is the most beautiful woman in the world."

 Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie have demonstrated their generosity and commitment many times: through the adoption of children from foreign lands to having their own children to their global humanitarian work.

Here  is a woman who has won Golden Globe awards, an Academy Award, Screen Actor Guild awards and more.

She will, however, be remembered not for her obvious acting talents and her beauty, but for her humanitarian efforts and her commitment to other woman in showing them they have choices. Not as many choices as women with wealth, as she said, but choices.  
 
As she said in the final two sentences of her op-ed: 

“Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we take on and take control of.”