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Still struggling with issues after all these years

4/27/2015

Two issues are ‘trending’ in the news lately, both of which are among topics that I’ve struggled with all my life.

One is the death penalty, because they are determining right now if the Boston bomber will live or die. The other is transgendered people, because of Bruce Jenner’s two-hour interview the other day when he confirmed the worst kept rumor this year.

The Boston bomber trial had left me as ambivalent as other murder cases in my life. Frankly, I have no understanding of how anyone can do such a thing – kill and maim innocent men, women and children out for a day of enjoyment. Why? But this phase of the trial –determining the punishment -- brings out my ambivalence on the issue. Do I want to determine who lives or dies? No. But do I want to be sure there is a penalty strong enough for the most heinous crimes against society and humanity? Yes.

Should the bomber die? I read about some of his victims who have said he should not because it would mean they repeatedly would need to relive that horrendous day as the bomber goes through year after year of appeal after appeal. A continuing onslaught of news stories so the issue never goes away publicly. As if they aren’t reliving it often enough already. Then there are those victims who want to see him put to death for his crimes. And there are those who feel if he is killed for his actions, he will become a martyr in that impossible world of people who just want to bring terror – and death – to Americans.

I’ve always struggled with the one side of me who believes folks like Tsarnaev should die for the types of crimes he committed. There is no doubt of his guilt, as there may be in other murder trials where society may be putting to death the wrong person. In this case, there is no such doubt. Was he a victim of his brother’s influence? Personally, I don’t think so because he placed that bomb right behind a young child, knowing what it would do that little body when it went off, and I don’t think “big brother made me do it” is a sufficient defense. Even the “unformed” 19-year-old mind should know better. Then again, should a just society commit a murder to punish someone who has murdered? A conundrum not easily answered.

That trial won’t determine what I think about the death penalty overall because if I’ve gone this long not being decisive, I’m not sure what would sway me now. If a loved one committed a murder I would not want him or her killed in return. On the other hand, if a loved one were killed, I’m pretty certain I would want the ultimate revenge because going to bed at night knowing the murderer also was going to sleep only to wake up the next day, would make me crazy. Even if he were in solitary confinement in prison. He still gets to breathe while my loved one doesn't.

Count me ambivalent overall. In the case of this particular 19-year-old, if I were a juror and I heard folks who lost a loved one or a limb say don’t kill him, jail him forever, and others who said kill him,I think I’d vote for life in prison. He’ll have a long life of punishment for sure.

Bruce Jenner is someone who, before i knew about his personal identity struggle, I never took a liking to. I’ve been “exposed” to Jenner for decades because he is about my age and went to high school in a town near where I grew up so his athletic exploits attracted even greater visibility via the local media. I also felt he was an arrogant, self-aggrandizing person back in his post-gold medal days. But i must admit, i had some of those feelings when i read about him in high school. (Now, could some of that have been jealousy over his outstanding athletic abilities and his good looks? Maybe).

But to see him go through such a personal struggle publicly also put me a little in awe of the strength that must take. Transgendering is not an issue I’m totally comfortable with but that is because I don't fully understand it. Watching the interview with Jenner taught me more than I knew before 9 p.m. EDT Friday. It doesn’t make me totally comfortable with it but it certainly served to educate me. Add that to recent reporting on hate crimes against transgenders and young children apparently struggling with their gender identity and my knowledge base has improved. I'm less confused but still not totally comfortable with it.

Like you, I have good friends who are gay. If you asked me 50 years ago what I thought of gay people, that teenager likely would have giggled internally wondering how men can be so “girly” and women so “butch.” That was society's reaction or defense mechanism. On the other hand, I had friends then who I suspected were gay, and were, and it never made me feel any less of them. In fact, it made me feel sad that they couldn't be who they were and are. One friend killed himself when he was a teenager. We never knew why. I think he was gay, but I’m not sure.

Fifty years later I have a far deeper understanding of gay people because they are my friends and most don't hide their sexuality. They’ve been over for dinner. I’ve gone drinking with them. I’ve worked with them. Hell, once I even unintentionally outed one at an office get-together because I assumed everyone knew and I made a passing reference to it. Don’t ask me today how I could even have thought that was appropriate. She hadn’t openly admitted it yet, though. Fortunately, she’s a good enough soul that while she was clearly startled when I did it, she thanked me later. Not sure I deserved thanks, in fact I get a pit of embarrassment in my stomach as i write this . But thank you, my friend, for doing for being the classy woman you are.

I feel extremely happy when a gay friend tells me he or she is going to be married because it gives me a very warm, good feeling inside that their lives can now grow as mine has, and not in secret. When I read about a gay couple that has been together for decades but felt they needed to hide that partnership, it gives me a very warm feeling when they finally can legally get married and hide no longer. So I put my ignorance on transgender folks in that same category. It confuses me because I know so little about it.

I’m paying close attention to the coverage, analysis and color stories being written on these two issues, because I’m trying to learn.

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Medicare -- For older Americans, yeah, right.

4/21/2015

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Remember when you’d wait anxiously, day to day for the mail to arrive because you were expecting a letter from someone (okay, I’m talking to people over 30 here who remember snail mail), or a delivery of something you bought mail order?

Well, last week I signed up for Medicare. And while I got an email a few days later saying that a decision had been made on my application, of course it didn’t say what the decision was but that I’d be getting a letter telling me soon (because why shouldn't the federal government which is rolling in dough spend a few more shekels on a stamp?).

Well, yesterday it arrived. I’m officially registered for Medicare which starts in a few months when I actually do turn 65. (65? Oy).

Before I signed up for Medicare (at least I can say it without choking on the word now, just stuttering a little), I talked to an insurance consultant hoping she could walk me through the various options involved in getting Medicare and what else i might need to help me through my golden years of health care. Tried to do it on my own and, while I’m a relatively intelligent person, I couldn’t figure it out. It’s like going into an IHOP. The menu is just too voluminous to make a choice.

For example, are you aware that when you finally get to sign up for “free” health care, you also have to buy other policies to make up for the things Medicare doesn’t provide? Like long-term care? Or dental? Oh, and those pesky deductibles.

I say this as a nearly 65-year-old man who, thanks to having two mild strokes, takes five prescriptions a day. But, Medicare – which I remind you is for older Americans -- covers drugs only to a certain point. The cost of my drugs hits that “gap” in the seven month of the year. So, for nearly half the year, I need to pay for my own prescriptions.
Thankfully, I’m a position where I can make those payments for a bit … what about those who can’t afford it? The “official” explanation for this, from Wikipedia, is: “After a Medicare beneficiary exits the initial coverage of the prescription-drug plan, the beneficiary is financially responsible for a higher cost of prescription drugs until he or she reaches the catastrophic-coverage threshold.”

This has been designated the Medicare Gap or, more commonly, the "donut hole." The Institute for America's Future (a liberal-leaning group, but still) did a report that says more than 55 percent of those getting Medicare and who enter that gap will never reach catastrophic coverage. So, no more drug money. Oh, that study also shows that gap has serious (bad) health effects on those folks. So, one way to look at this is that the health care the government provides leads many Americans to poorer health. Not that I'm arguing against Medicare, just that maybe -- when the Congress gets done with the more important issues like holding up the nomination of a perfectly qualified Attorney General -- they can address this minor issue of better health care for their constituents.

So Medicare which, again, is for older Americans many of whom depend on drugs to manage various health conditions, does not really cover much of your drug costs. Thank goodness that it covers hearing aids and eyeglasses because who among us over 65 doesn’t need one or the other, or both? But wait, no, Medicare does not cover hearing aids or glasses – because after 65, if you are among those who don’t work, why do you really need to see or hear? To watch your grandkids grow and learn? To enjoy the life you thought you earned after working for five or so decades? Nah, you didn’t work all your life so you could see and hear those terrific kids play or discuss or anything or ask you questions about your experiences in life or stop to finally smell the roses.

Maybe I should just start filling my grandkids in on Medicare and what I’m learning?

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The flower bulb thief strikes!

4/16/2015

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Pointed prints seem to be that of a doe. Round holes are where the bulbs used to be.

We have an alarm system on the house in case someone breaks in to steal things. It does not extend to our yard, though. Woke up yesterday morning and every – EVERY – tulip bulb that has been planted the last couple of years was gone! Did I mention EVERY one? About 15 of them. It was almost as if the Tulip Burglar waited until the lights went out and then struck, gently but precisely uprooting every bulb in a carefully planned caper. Did I mention we have a motion light on the front of the house so that if anyone or anything steps into the yard, a gazillion watts of light come on? Never saw the lights come on.

First thought, squirrels. But even with those ever-expanding cheeks, could they take EVERY bulb? In one night? Wouldn’t one fill up their little tummies? Plus, when we looked it up, squirrels may play with flower bulbs but they don’t eat them, preferring berries and such, easier for their little mouths and teeth to chew and their little throats to swallow.

We do have a lot of rabbits in the yard, (some live under the storage hut out back) so that must have been it! But every bulb? Even at the rate rabbits multiply, there couldn’t have been enough rabbits to take EVERY bulb? In one night? I looked around the yard and perimeter to see if there was a pile of formerly planted bulbs abandoned somewhere but…NO! They were all…GONE!! They were not being stored for dining later nor abandoned as the critters realized their eyes were bigger than their stomachs, as my mom used to say.

Mysterious, eh? Then our Verizon repair guy showed up (this is probably fodder for another post but, short version, our OnDemand has always stuttered and paused which makes it unwatchable and the Verizon guy -- a very nice fellow named Tom -- has been here most of three days a week the past two weeks trying to uncover the problem with the assistance of thousands, I exaggerate, on the phone helping him not discover the problem). Anyway, Tom gets on one knee a la Davy Crockett without the coon skin cap, takes a look as we are surveying the damage outside and, having done some animal tracking in his time (don’t ask), he suggests it was a 120-pound baby deer because of the pointed hoof prints in our flower/bush beds and the depth of the prints.

Based on my many hours as a youngster watching Davy Crockett track b'ars and such and other Westerns with equally qualified trackers, I think he’s probably right, but you can look at the picture above and decide for yourself. I'll wait.

I gotta say, though, it was weird at first blush to see about 15 bulbs, planted around three sides of the house – gone. Did I mention EVERY one of them is gone? Each almost surgically removed from its former resting spot.

While we can't be certain it was a doe (though our neighbor across the way reports seeing deer in her back yard lately), the good news is that yesterday Tom figured out the problem with OnDemand, which is purring like a kitten now.

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One-name wonders

4/14/2015

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We’ve hit the season when we get a new presidential candidate or two every week. Not that there are any surprises thus far. But so far we have candidates who you know by one name: Rand, Mario, Hillary, Jeb.

Each is, of course, trying to remake him or herself into the image/perception they want, or at least the perception they think the voters want. Mario needs to show he is experienced enough. Hillary is trying to be one of us. Rand wants to be less nutty. Jeb wants you to know that he won’t pander to the GOP primary voters because he wants to win, not just look good losing. Oh, and he’s his own man too (read: don’t put my family’s records on me)

So, the field is starting out trying to be what each thinks he or she needs to be.

We have had the traditional announcements and Hillary’s more modern, social media announcement. I clicked on the video to watch it and, honestly, thought I was seeing an ad by an insurance or smart phone company because it had all the demographics a business would want. Whites. Blacks. Hispanics. Gays. Lesbians. Young people. Got it. I really thought it was an ad leading to Hillary’s announcement video. But it was what it was, Hillary's ad.

Her message is supposed to be: I’m you. But her demographic wasn’t represented. That would be the rich, $500,000 a speech, billion dollar foundation founder demographic. As my friend Rich Galen was quoted as saying: “Hillary didn’t become Hillary by being one of the gals; she became Hillary by not being one of the gals…” She begins the campaign though by not touting her experience to be president but her experience to be one of us.

Marco has a different challenge. He’s only 43, has only been in the Senate a couple of years and needs to prove he has the oomph to be president. (This is where he loses me; after the current president, it proves again you need some experience to be president and not just two years in the Senate. You need to build relationships and coalitions as president. You need to know you aren’t enough on your own).

Rand, well, Rand wants to be true to his libertarian roots but doesn’t want to be his dad. Good luck, Rand, you spent a few years trying to maintain his base and you can’t throw your dad under a bus. That wouldn't be very presidential.

Jeb, well, his goal is the goal I’d like to see be successful: not pandering to the right wing of the party and still win the general election. We’ve seen candidates on the GOP side pander in the primary and then lose the general. Jeb also wants to be loyal to his Bush roots but not brought down by what some see as the negatives of those roots.

So, this cycle begins as all others: candidates trying to portray themselves as something they want to be or, more importantly, think the voters want them to be. Of all, I think Jeb is being the most honest – not wanting to win the primary in a way that loses the election. Whether he can keep to that strategy and be successful is to be seen. But it is an honest strategy.

Meanwhile, on to next week, and, possibly, a new candidate or two. But we are running out of candidates that will be known by one name. Of course, there’s always Carly.

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And I'm not apologizing

4/9/2015

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I just spent the winter in Florida. Yes, my New England friends, I never saw one flake of the 100-plus inches that fell this season in Massachusetts. And I’m not apologizing.

Instead of getting a cold, I got a tan. Instead of losing my electricity, I lost golf balls. Instead of stoking the fire, I opened the balcony door to hear the waves. And, did I mention I’m not apologizing?

How many winters have we all said, “When I retire, I am NOT going to be this cold or shovel snow again?” Well, I got to live that fantasy.

Don’t get me wrong, I returned to Massachusetts (where we still have some remnants of snow drifts) last week, and I’m glad to be home. I love spring, summer and fall in New England, and even parts of winter. But, and I think I’ve mentioned this already, I am not apologizing for missing what was the worst (snow) winter in Massachusetts history.

Being a snowbird has its challenges, though none of them is shoveling through a five-foot snow drift to free your car only to find out the drift wasn't hiding your car but your neighbor's. The challenges are more like: what shall I do today, pool or golf? Or, why are all these old people surrounding me? We were the second youngest couple in the building of 40 or so condos we were in. Friends in the building would tell us “we’re going for our swim now,” and they’d get in the pool and gather in a circle resting on "floaties" chatting about condo politics, not swimming.

It does give you time, though, to think about growing older and what all that means – the good and the not as good.

There will be a couple more posts on being a snowbird. For now, though, the picture above is of a sunrise taken from the apartment we rented. Oh, and by the way, I am not apologizing.

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Recent news

4/5/2015

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Various news making news lately:

Indiana and its bad “perception.” Not sure what else can be said that hasn't already been said: dumb law, dumb explanation by the governor whose presidential aspirations are history already. And, really, the business owner won’t make pizzas for gay weddings? Oh my, the horror!!! No pizza with a groom and groom on top! I mean, how many weddings have you gone to – straight or gay – where the menu was pizza? The pizza shop owner who said that made a mockery of the issue, as did the state legislature by passing such a dumb thing.

Hillary’s emails. So, she had her own server (who among us doesn’t?). She wrote government emails on it, but nothing with confidential info in them. And she deleted a ton. With a Clinton you can bet being transparent will never be transparent.

Chris Christie hasn’t been in the news lately. A good thing for his reputation. A bad thing for his presidential ambitions. Does the phrase stick a fork in him mean anything to you?

The gang that can’t shot straight. So, the Republicans take over the Senate, giving them control of Congress, and they pledge to demonstrate they can govern. So far we’ve gotten: a freshman senator rallying almost all his colleagues to send a letter to the leadership of Iran to try to scuttle an agreement the President is negotiating, saying he won’t be president long and we’ll undo it. I have no idea if the agreement the U.S. is negotiating is good or bad. I’m no nuclear or treaty expert. Even if I understood the issue better, who knows if all the key details are public yet? But, having senators send such a letter is an embarrassment. That’s not how our government works. The Senate has a role but sending such letters isn’t part of it. There was also the fight over funding the Department of Homeland Security. Really? THAT’s the fight you pick? Oh, and it was over the issue of immigration, another real winning position the GOP has chosen. Anyway, Republicans need to demonstrate to the country (not a sliver of their party) that they can govern and they’re worthy of the adjective “majority.” That’s not to give the Democrats a free ride on their lack of leadership ability but they are in the minority now and the pressure has shifted to the other side of the aisle.

Breaking with their past, stupidly. The Indiana and Arkansas laws that would have discriminated against gays and lesbians also would have had a terrible effect on business in those states. Already some folks had cancelled trips to the states. Bigger businesses were threatening to leave the states or cancel expansions. Apple and Walmart (which could argue they own Arkansas economically) made strong statements against the laws. Now, the Republican Party has always been tagged -- for better or worse -- as the party of business. Which also translated often into good size contributions from those businesses who preferred Republican solutions on taxes and spending and regulations to Democratic versions. Enter the recent furor over the laws and if those states had stuck to their guns (which they pointed at their own heads, by the way), businesses would have been forced to NOT contribute to the GOP. Talk about creating a circular firing squad.

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Still struggling with issues after all these years

Medicare -- For older Americans, yeah, right.

The flower bulb thief strikes!

One-name wonders

And I'm not apologizing

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