Nine men and women killed in South Carolina for no reason other than the color of their skin. Nine men and women in Washington, D.C., making momentous decisions. The nine in South Carolina never met the nine in Washington, but their legacies are now intertwined forever with the country’s first inter-racial president who may, finally in his waning days in office, literally be finding his voice.

You may not always agree with his voice – he can be flat now and again – but he was never in finer pitch than last week as his health care legacy was cemented by the Supreme Court, his humanity was on display in South Carolina and his White House was bathed in rainbow colors after the Supreme Court said marriage is for everyone.

Personally, I agree with the health care decision – I’m in favor of health care for all – and I support gay folks being able to marry one another (and now I can stop having to use the qualifier and just say “marriage).

The word “grace” is being used a lot lately after the survivors of the Charleston victims forgave their relatives’ killer so soon after his terrorist act. Grace is something that would be good for Republicans to show now, too. Are the “culture” wars over? No, not by a long shot. But the debate over marriage is over and should not be fought any longer. I suspect it will be via political rhetoric as Republicans battle for the religious right’s primary votes. But it is settled. You can call for a constitutional amendment to get around the Supreme Court but when 65 percent of the people don’t support it, it is only rhetorical fodder not reality.

There are of course the very religious folks who feel gay marriage is an abomination and against their teachings. Last I heard there were religious Democrats, too, though we never hear such outcries from them, at least the media doesn’t report them. And while they may not all be in favor of same-sex marriage, I hope there are sufficient people of a religious bent that can recognize the difference between their religious beliefs and government policy. The Supreme Court’s ruling doesn’t mandate that churches, mosques or synagogues perform same-sex marriages, it is saying that under our Constitution, we don’t discriminate. Houses of worship still can, if they choose.

As moderate Republican (we are not extinct yet), I want us to move on because if we aren’t battling issues such as marriage and health care,  we can focus on the issues that always decide national elections – the economy and national security. And, pragmatic Republicans might take note, that on issues of the economy and national security, the GOP typically has a lead among the citizenry.  

The Supreme Court did Republicans a favor, politically, and is taking the issue of marriage off the table. That is settled. No need to rant and rage over it on the campaign trail. A ranting/raging that turns off a majority of general election voters. Same with health care. Stop ranting, unless you have a legitimately better way to handle national health care. If so, lay it on the table so the people can make a decision. The cry to “repeal Obamacare” doesn’t cut it without something to replace it. Or are you saying no national health care? Another “winning” issue if you are.

I understand the political “need” to win primaries in states where gay marriage and national health care are battle cries against the sitting president. This election is to replace him, though, so that battle is over, too.

Let’s all move on.

The killings in South Carolina have produced many human emotions, some expected, some unexpected.

The unexpected are what struck me the most. First, let me say, this was a, premeditated, horrible mass murder for reasons we all know – the racist basis for them, the chilling shooter sitting in the Bible Study group an hour before pulling out his gun and killing everyone there except one he wanted as a witness to his killings, to the cold, empty eyes we’re becoming too accustomed to seeing when photos of these killers are published.

The unexpected though was:

The families of the murdered within hours forgiving the killer, not without understandably raw emotions, but still publicly forgiving him and praying for his soul as their church teaches them to do.

The other reason was the reaction of the city of Charleston which was – peaceful. No violence, no protests, just pulling together regardless of color to grieve the horrible experience they all now have to endure. A city demonstrating that, yes, like all cities, they have crazy people among them, doesn’t react equally crazily in the face of such hate-filled violence.

Those were the two after-thoughts that I came away with: forgiveness and peace. It can be done.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t problems to solve:

• Guns and what to do about them in a meaningful, realistic way, not just a rhetoric to get through the moment
• Mental health and how best to deal with it, even though we will never fully deal with the resulting behaviors of mental health, we should – and I mean of all us – be better at detecting it and, more importantly, doing something about it. This killer’s friends saw signs
• Hatred, which we will also never fully deal with. But the citizens of Charleston sure gave us a demonstration that it can be done. They didn’t react with hate against each other
• The Confederate flag is a symbol. A bad symbol. Like the swastika. It is a symbol not of the Confederate states, but the battle flag of the Confederate states. And let us not forget, that was a war over racism. And the Confederacy lost.

 A friend, Rich Galen, wrote in his column today that there is a road in Virginia, right outside of Washington, D.C., that is named for Jefferson Davis. I’ve driven over it so many times, I stopped associating it with the leader of the Confederacy. It was just a road. An ugly one at that. Get rid of that flag in South Carolina and get rid of Jeff Davis Highway, as Rich suggests.

 Will those things stop these killings or the hatred? No, but they are two things we can do, the right things to do, while the bigger issues – guns and mental health – I hope start to finally be dealt with.   

But when the Republican presidential candidates avoid the question of the Confederate battle flag because they worry about winning or losing the South Carolina primary, we have a problem. When they dance around even better controls on who gets a gun, we have a problem.

Lady and gentlemen of the GOP presidential field, it is time to speak out. I assume there are at least a few of you who deplore the display of the Confederate battle flag. Say so. Those of you who support the flag, say so too. I assume there are some of you who know that we can do a better job controlling guns in this country and that there are things we can do to try to avoid another senseless mass killing – we thought so after Columbine, we thought so after Newtown, and we think so again now. Say so. We all know no answer to these problems is the perfect answer but political solutions are always imperfect.

This namby-pamby answer that “the flag is an issue for the citizens of South Carolina to resolve” is bull. Sure it is legally an issue South Carolina must resolve. But you, as people who aspire to be president of the United States can be, oh, what’s the word I'm looking for -- oh yeah, LEADERS in the effort. If you can’t lead on gun control, or health, or other issues, seems to me the Confederate battle flag is one you can all handle.

 

 In just the last couple days, Donald Trump announced he is running for president…of the United States…of America. He said he’d build a BIG wall to keep Mexicans out of our country. And he knows how to build walls, he said. Funny, I want a president who’ll tear down walls.

Then there’s that lady out west who led a local NAACP chapter. She’s white, her parents, or folks who say they’re her parents, say. She “identifies” as black so has lived as a black woman. Bruce Jenner tells us he identifies as a woman. So he is now a woman. Lots of identifying going on – a good thing, methinks. We all should be true to ourselves…and to others. And identify ourselves, when what we are isn’t so obvious.

Just like Donald Trump. If he didn’t say he was presidential timber, I’d never have known.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’ve always disliked birthdays that end in “5.” Twenty-five seemed older than 30 to me, 35 seemed older than 40, etc. But today, I turn…get this…65! OMG!

I already have my Medicare card. Because right now I am – 65!!! Holy crap! I’ve had grandkids for 20 years but today I feel like I really am old enough to have grandkids. Did I say OMG? (Even if I don’t know what OMG stands for?).

I’m 65. I have a Medicare card. And I’m retired. That, my friends, is getting old(er). I know, I know…everyone will tell me throughout the day that 65 is the new 45. To that I say, BS (which is older than OMG). And to those who tell me that I say: When YOU are 65, YOU think about it being the new 45.

While we all have longer life expectancy I’m not sure we all look forward to have longer life expectancy that means we are OLD. I know, it’s far better than the alternative, and I’m grateful that I am 65 and healthy. While I may be 65, I don’t feel 65. In our heads we’re always kids, right? It wasn’t until recently, after seeing pictures of myself (a lot of pictures of myself to prove it wasn’t photo-shopped) that I accept I have grey hair, not greyING hair, but grey hair. When I look in the mirror I still don’t see it. Ok, I’ll go get my eyes checked.

We look at other folks our age and say, “wow, he/she is getting old.” Uh, we are the SAME age!!! If they look old, you do too. Just maybe not to yourself.

But I am not whining. We age, there is nothing we can do about that. Well, there is, but I don’t consider it an option. Sixty-five though, to me, is like shouting YOU ARE OLD. I mean, 70 is next (I hope).  

Enough though. As they say (too often) these days, “it is what it is” (a dumber cliché I don’t think I’ve heard). And today I am 65.

I embrace it. I’ve had a good life so far. And I’m hoping it can only get better. Instead of looking at aging as getting old, let’s look at it as enjoying longevity.

Happy longevity to me.