I am pleased to report that, today, I am announcing that I hope, someday maybe, possibly to be a potential candidate for President of the United States, but I’m not positive about that.
I make this announcement because as I read intentions from other candidates for president they, who truly are candidates for president but not according to the letter of the law, say things like, “I hope to run for President…I may be a candidate for President” etc. etc. and so forth. This formulation of words keeps them, apparently, from triggering campaign finance laws which would handcuff them with those pesky requirements like disclosing donors, spending and raising requirements, etc., etc. and so forth.
I make my announcement for this clear and transparent (redundant, I know, but now that I am maybe a possible candidate for President I can be redundant, oxymoronic and many other unclear things that we possible candidates are) reason: Taking this course of action is the best, and probably only, way to recruit a billionaire to give me money. There, I said it. I want money. I am being as clear, honest and transparent as a potentially possible candidate for president can be. I do not want to be a talking head on Fox or any other network. I do not want to make millions on the speaking circuit. I want to cut out the middleman and get money. Now.
I’ve never met a billionaire and in assessing my reasons as to why that is the case, I believe it is because I have never thought about possibly being a potential candidate for the highest office in the land. I do not yet have a PAC that might eventually fund my possible presidential candidacy and that is because, honestly, I have not yet found that billionaire who will fund my PAC and my campaign. But I will. I mean, they must be a dime a dozen as every other possibly potential candidate, and even a couple who are candidates, have at least one billionaire in their camp(aign). I only want one.
To those potential billionaire supporters I say this: all those other men and women running for office already have at least one billionaire in their camp. With those potential candidates you would be a small fish in a big pond, you’d be in a billionaires’ line to even talk to the candidate and, to boot, you’d be late to the party.
With my possible potential candidacy, by getting on board right now, you will be, and this I promise to you, the only billionaire in my camp!! That’s the fact, Jack (or Jill). I only want one. I’m not greedy.
The line forms here.
I make this announcement because as I read intentions from other candidates for president they, who truly are candidates for president but not according to the letter of the law, say things like, “I hope to run for President…I may be a candidate for President” etc. etc. and so forth. This formulation of words keeps them, apparently, from triggering campaign finance laws which would handcuff them with those pesky requirements like disclosing donors, spending and raising requirements, etc., etc. and so forth.
I make my announcement for this clear and transparent (redundant, I know, but now that I am maybe a possible candidate for President I can be redundant, oxymoronic and many other unclear things that we possible candidates are) reason: Taking this course of action is the best, and probably only, way to recruit a billionaire to give me money. There, I said it. I want money. I am being as clear, honest and transparent as a potentially possible candidate for president can be. I do not want to be a talking head on Fox or any other network. I do not want to make millions on the speaking circuit. I want to cut out the middleman and get money. Now.
I’ve never met a billionaire and in assessing my reasons as to why that is the case, I believe it is because I have never thought about possibly being a potential candidate for the highest office in the land. I do not yet have a PAC that might eventually fund my possible presidential candidacy and that is because, honestly, I have not yet found that billionaire who will fund my PAC and my campaign. But I will. I mean, they must be a dime a dozen as every other possibly potential candidate, and even a couple who are candidates, have at least one billionaire in their camp(aign). I only want one.
To those potential billionaire supporters I say this: all those other men and women running for office already have at least one billionaire in their camp. With those potential candidates you would be a small fish in a big pond, you’d be in a billionaires’ line to even talk to the candidate and, to boot, you’d be late to the party.
With my possible potential candidacy, by getting on board right now, you will be, and this I promise to you, the only billionaire in my camp!! That’s the fact, Jack (or Jill). I only want one. I’m not greedy.
The line forms here.
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