Retirement. An end and a beginning.

Retirement: Something you work all your life to reach. Something that means more travel, relaxation and enjoyment. No more
living by the clock. You’re old.

Today, I retired. It is the last day I will walk into and out of the offices of APCO Worldwide, where I have worked for the past 20 or so years. It is not the last time I will see many of my colleagues, who have become my friends. It’s not the
last time I’ll use my brain, because I am looking forward to more blogging, more writing, more volunteer work and other things to fill the days.

But it truly is one of those milestones in life you look forward to and then think: oh, my God, I am old! I know, I know, 60 is the new 40. That’s what “they” say. But when you’re in your 60s, you begin to think: Damn, I’m almost 70! And then
you hope you reach 70 and beyond. (Life’s achievements become so much simpler when you’re older. The goal is get even older.)

It’s been a lovely couple of weeks with folks taking me to coffee or lunch or dinner. I had a terrific evening the other night with those I’ve been closest to in the office. A night when my wife met all my work spouses (and the two men who
attended, too). A night to just talk and laugh with friends and colleagues you like, and trust. The "cone of silence" was lowered that night.

And it won’t be good-bye to those folks because they are the kind of friends you stay in touch with, not just say you’ll stay in touch. There have been tears shared with some of them. Thoughts of: I won't see them every day. And that will be weird and take some getting used to. Work, for me and others, I know, becomes in many ways the social center, too. And losing your social center takes some getting used to.

I’ll miss some things about work life. Those colleagues who challenged me. Those colleagues who made me laugh. Those colleagues who I learned from. Also, I always enjoyed working with younger folks who wanted to learn and grow and thought folks older than they are could help them find their way. I hope some I mentored are finding their way. I know they helped me find my way – I got as much from them as they got from me. They brought back the hope, aspirations and wonder of being younger and wanting to grow and mature in your work life. 

My farewell note to my colleagues today did not talk about my time at APCO being a “great ride;” Lord, I’m tired of that phrase. What I did was send a note that included “lessons learned” in my work life and that served me well, and I hope
will serve others well.

So (cliché warning!) as I “begin the next chapter of my life” I look forward to it, I fear it a little at the moment, and I wonder what it’ll feel like when I wake up one morning and realize – I have no where I HAVE to be, only places I want to
be.